I'M TONGUE TIED WITH YOU -

[GAVIN CONOR DUBLIN]

I CAN'T FIND THE WORDS TO SAY THAT I NEED
YOU BY MY SIDE BUT I'M TERRIFIED TO TALK TO YOU, WON'T BE SATISFIED

Gavin really wasn’t sure how he got to this particular point in his life. He wasn’t sure how the band had gotten big, how they’d gotten on tour, how everything that had happened in the past two months had happened the way they had. All he knew was that everything was pretty going well for him. The tour had recently just started up, and already, he was excited for everything. Honestly, the tour was just everything he’d ever hoped for. Ever since he’d been thirteen and writing shitty songs in his bedroom with the door closed, he’d always wanted this. And here he was, one of the eight bands on a headlining tour that was going around the world. seriously, could things be any better? Probably, but he wasn’t going to jinx himself. Performing on stage, not making a fool of himself, everything was going pretty damn good for a while. Him and the rest of the band, they did good. They always did good. Even if he got the before stage jitters before every show still, he had been managing to push all those irrational fears of falling on stage, or rather, off stage into the audience, or forgetting the lyrics or forgetting how to play the guitar, all of that went away the minute he actually started singing. Honestly, he was on such a high right on stage, that it lasted with him as he walked off stage. After every show, he’d be a bouncing kid who just wanted some soda, or something refreshing, some food, a shower, and then go back to the buses and play video games after getting pictures with the fans and signing stuff. That was just how everyday seemed to go for him, and he liked it, he really did. But today, he wanted a change.

He’d been talking with Sebastian before the show, a ritual that became a regular thing lately. Honestly, the guy was … he was something, Gavin had to admit. He liked the guy, in more ways than one. Though if you asked him head on if he liked guys, he would deny it. He wasn’t ashamed, not at all; honestly, he would have loved to scream it to the world. But the world was a little bit of a harsh place, and the way people could be harsh hindered whatever courage he would gather to just open his mouth and just say the two words that would probably make his life easier: I’m gay. At the moment, there were only three other people that knew about his being gay, and honestly, they were the only ones he planned on telling for a while. No matter how confident and cocky he knew how to act, deep down, he was scared shitless of the endless possibility of problems he would probably end up dealing with in the long run if he came out right then and there. Right now he was perfectly happy with how everything was going in his life. Well, almost everything.

Seeing Seb every day, it didn’t help his growing feelings. Not at all. The guy was probably one of his closest new friends on tour, he really was. They talked constantly, hung out, teased each other like bros did. But honestly, Gavin wanted more. A lot more. He knew that Seb was out in the open about his sexuality, and honestly, Gavin did look up to him for it. But not so much that he would be prancing around anytime soon with a sign announcing he was himself. But still, he realized how much of a problem this was. He couldn’t just really do half of the thing she wanted to do around Sebastian without coming out with it. A small part of him actually prayed that maybe he knew, somehow, maybe. Maybe he just had a hint. Maybe he had a good gay-dar, who knew? But really, Gavin just wanted things to work out themselves. Saying he was afraid of, well, making any sort of move would be an understatement. He really had no idea who to ask; sure, he could’ve asked one of the three people that knew about him, but really, what help were Garret and Noah unless they had experience asking out guys? And Jasey… Jasey had never really been the dating type, he had learned in the countless hours they’d always spent talking. So… really, he was on his own. Well, okay, so he really wasn’t. but, the one thing anyone knew about Gavin, he was a prideful fucker. He wasn’t the type of person who would admit he needed help, especially with asking someone out, let alone a guy. Honestly, he’d never asked out a guy before. In all his six years of accepting the fact that he was gay, he hadn’t ever asked a guy out. For the past six years, he had played the part of the typical straight kid well. He’d pretend flirted with the girls at bars and clubs and in malls that would throw themselves at him, but he never felt anything more than a slight awkward feeling in the back of his head. He had spent six years constantly trying to tell himself he wasn’t attracted to the guy he’d seen down by the skate park, or the guy who delivered pizza, or the guy who worked at zumiez that had shouted at Gavin because he’d thought Gavin had stolen shit from the store. He firmly, at this point, believed he should’ve gotten an Oscar for how well he could fake being straight. But honestly, it was actually exhausted to keep doing that, to keep faking everything. There was just too much on his mind.

Over the house of a show, it was these things that ran through his mind. Along with remembering how to play guitar, remembering lyrics, and keeping his feet steady, he was worrying about all this. It was a lot for a twenty one year old to think about, okay? As he got off stage, running a hand through his sweaty, matted hair, he grabbed a water bottle from one of the techs standing on the side as he clapped a hand on the back of one of the members of the other band that was going up then. Taking a large swig of his water, he glanced around, nodding his head at whoever was actually trying to talk to him at that moment. His attention was elsewhere, couldn’t anyone see that? Obviously not. However, the instant he spotte Sebastian’s familiar blond hair, he excused himself from whoever he was “talking” with, and started walking in Seb’s general direction, using the towel that was carelessly thrown around his neck to try and wipe off some of the sweat that he was covered in. standing behind him, he set a typical Gavin grin on his face as he moved around Seb to lean against the huge amp near them as he looked and met Seb’s blue eyes. “I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show up to the show.” Pouting in his typical overdramatic way, he poured the rest of the water bottle down his throat (well, not before some of the cold water got sprayed over his head. Let’s face it, after performing on stage, you got pretty damn hot) almost greedily. He was just sweaty and exhausted, and had Seb really not been there, he would have found himself making his way back to the Call It Karma bus. “So, what are you doing after the show? Got any plans?” Casually throwing the question out there, he looked around as though it were an innocent question, with no motive behind it. Ha. When it came to Sebastian, these days, none of Gavin’s question had the typical innocent motive behind it. Not at all..

LEIGH/SEB <3 - 1306 WORDS - I LIKE MOST OF IT :3

[SEBASTIAN MITCHELL COLLINS]

Were gonna keep singing all our own songs
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down

Seb was just chilling. Okay, the was a lie, he was deliberately on his way to watch Call It Karma play a set before he was playing that night. Or again, more specifically, to watch Gavin play his set. Sure, the guy was straight, Sebastian guessed judging by the lack of evidence to the contrary, but that didn't mean he couldn't hope. Naturally, Seb was pretty open about his sexuality, as he was with the most things. Admittedly, it didn't really make things easier in life for him, but it did remove any and all confusion. Sebastian Collins was gay, of that there was no doubt. It wasn't the he was a whore, because he wasn't, Seb just very occasionally liked to have fun. No-one was really, in his eyes, capable of actually asking him to be their boyfriend, after all, Seb knew he spoke almost none stop. It was just his way. He liked speaking. He supposed that secretly it was a way of keeping the other person distracted so they couldn't think about Seb himself. His seriously deep self esteem issues about the whole situation meant that in his mind, that seemed like a good solution. Anyway, Seb also knew that it was a good reason he liked Gavin so much, other then the fact he was absolutely smoking hot. The boy could listen. Or at least, could pretend to listen which was good enough for Seb. Normally people just told him to shut up, walk off, or in Reagan's case, merely take his microphone away from him.

Pushing his foot off the ground to propel him and his skateboard forward, Seb kept his eyes up to look at the absolutely huge crowd that had gathered for the day's bands. It was a hell of a lineup admittedly, and they all switched playing times each day which for someone with many distractions, wasn't a particularly helpful thing. Chewing his bottom lip, Seb's blue eyes peered through his sunglasses under his fringe to look toward the stage. Pushing himself forward again, he let the skateboard glide down the slight hill so he could go backstage. Stopping and flashing his pass at the security, Seb walked on through. Catching up with Gavin before he played was a regular occurence and one of the best parts of the day. Sure, they hadn't known each other personally before this tour, hell, they lived in complete opposite parts of the world, but they still hit it off like nobody's business. Seb always had been one of the first to introduce himself, except this time, he'd been taken by surprise. Gavin had spoken to him first. It had been a very pleasant change, that was for sure. At least he didn't have to worry about the person perhaps being a homophobe. He'd long gotten used to the abuse that followed the 'gay' tag in show business.

Letting Gavin go get ready, he held the top of his skateboard to stand it up straight as Call It Karma played their set, his body moving slightly as it was impossible not to, and his head bobbing to the music. He never got tired of watching live music, especially when it was his friends' band. Grinning from ear to ear, he watched right until the very end, sometimes starting at Gavin, sometimes staring at the crowd. They were loving it. As Call It Karma finished their set, Sebastian put his skateboard on the ground, but dropped it by accident. Pouting, he picked it up, inspecting it and resting it on one of the spare amps to check it over. One problem Seb had it was when his attention was on something, he took no regard of anything else around him. This made him jump slightly when suddenly Gavin made an appearance in front of him. Seb had to swallow slightly, watching the singer with slightly dazed eyes as he spoke and then poured some of the cold water over his head. Coughing into his hand to clear his throat, and perhaps distract his mind, Seb glanced at the skateboard, his fingers tapping it. Looking back at Gavin, his face grew into a typical Seb grin, almost bouncing on his feet at the question.

"Oh!" And so it begun. His thick australian accent sounding out. "Well, I'm playing later on so I wasn't doing anything so I thought I would come and see you play except then i dropped my skateboard and i was worried it broke so I had to try make sure it was alright. I don't want it being broken because that would be shitty, you know?" Seb barely took a breath throughout, nodding as if Gavin would definitely understand him. "Anyway, what am I doing after the show, which I suppose is now... uh... nothing, yet. I don't think." He'd kind have been hoping he would have been able to hang out with Gavin. If he was free, and didn't find it weird. Seb blinked when he realised he was thinking all this instead of speaking it and grinned again. "I was kinda thinking, if you were free, we could hang out. I know you probably want a shower and change and all that fun stuff but if you're not busy it could be cool to hang out? Maybe? I mean if you don't want to then we don't have to, we can just organise another time. I can fix my skateboard." Taking a breath at the end of his ramble, it wasn't even that he was nervous. He wasn't, it was just simply the way Seb was. He talked. A lot. Everyone knew this. Pushing his blonde fringe under part of his hat again, Seb still grinned at Gavin. He was an optimist when it didn't involve himself, so he was still hopeful Gavin would chill. He didn't have a plan, but definitely, Sebastian was a spur of the moment kind of guy.

Seb's face pretty much lit up and he grabbed his skateboard without a second thought when he heard Gavin's accent. Perfect! He would be spending his late afternoon with his crush good friend and what could be better then that. Heading further backstage, Seb knew a shortcut back to the buses, though it was always empty so he rarely took it as who could he talk to then? Except, he was with Gavin now so it would be alright. "Oh wow! So! I haven't told you yet." His accent was strong alongside his excitement. "But, I was playing that shooting game that you love. And I was just all, 'Bang!' you've bitten the dust. I win! Except, I was too busy partying at my first kill that I didn't see this other wanker pop out and aim at me and next thing I know-" Seb was cut off. Completely. Not from not knowing what to say, but instead the feel of soft yet strong lips on his own. He had even carried on talking when the fingers had moved his chin to face Gavin, but now, he was in a stunned silence. Seb didn't move, didn't respond, didn't have time to react before the lips were off and Gavin was gone. Having stopped dead in his tracks, Seb lifted his hand slowly to his mouth, his fingers brusing his tingling lips whilst his blue eyes followed Gavin running off awkwardly. What the fuck? It took him a moment before suddenly without thinking, Seb found himself running after Gavin at full speed. Somehow, he caught Gavin, grabbing his shoulder and pushing him back onto one of the metal columns for the portable huge stage. Tilting his head, he made a decision. A brave one, just like Gavin had just taken. Letting his blue eyes roam over Gavin's face briefly, his hand touched his jawline before pushing back, to rest on the singers neck. Moving his whole body forward to sandwich Gavin in between the metal and his own body, Seb made sure there was no space along the length of them before looking up and linking eye contact, then placing his own lips on Gavin's strongly. He hoped to God that the first move hadn't been a mistake, his own stomach flipping as he kissed him.

Tag: Rini/Gavin
Words: 1396
Outfit: Here
Notes: It's okay? (:

[GAVIN CONOR DUBLIN]

I CAN'T FIND THE WORDS TO SAY THAT I NEED
YOU BY MY SIDE BUT I'M TERRIFIED TO TALK TO YOU, WON'T BE SATISFIED

Staring down at Sebastian (for it was fair to say Gavin was probably a good inch or two or four taller than the blond), Gavin raised an eyebrow as Sebastian started talking. That was the thing he was getting used to. The kid talked a lot, and fast. More often than not he was sure Seb didn’t take a breath between his fast little monologues. It was actually entertaining in a way, and honestly, Gavin didn’t mind. He liked hearing the kid talk. Looking around for a second and waving a hand at someone who talked passed them, he turned his attention back to Sebastian at his words “I was kinda thinking”. Slouching against the amp a little more comfortably, his brown eyes watched Sebastian, mostly trying to make contact with his blue eyes. Feeling the smile on his lips hitch up slightly at Seb’s words, he shrugged nonchalantly, running the towel over his hair as a pensive look formed on his face, as though he seriously had to contemplate an answer. “Hm…. Sure. Why not? I’m not busy.” Smirking slightly at him for a second, he had to laugh slightly at the excited look that showed up on Sebastian’s face.

Watching him grab his skateboard and head further down backstage, Gavin raised an eyebrow as he followed willingly. He never really took this route back to the buses, mostly because it was usually empty and, well… who knew who was hiding back there. It was just, awkward. Hearing Seb’s accent and excitement in his voice, he turned his head to face the kid as he walked beside him. He was talking about video games, oh God. Feeling whatever smirk on his face soften up into a smile almost instantly, his brown eyes took in the small details he probably already knew rather well. The blond hair that was hiding underneath his hat, that damn nose ring, the smile on his face as he talked. Everything that just screamed sex at him. Okay, so it didn’t really scream that at him, but it screamed something, and pulled at some part of him inside. And he just liked it. A lot. Staring down at Seb for a minute, he couldn’t help what he did next, at all. Reaching a calloused hand up suddenly, he turned the blonde’s head towards him by the chin, and the next second, leaned down, pressing his lips down on his. Spontaneity was his thing, certainly, most of the time, but this was outside of what Gavin normally did. Feeling his stomach flip over itself slightly in his stomach as he pressed his lips against Seb’s a little harder for a quick second before he got cold feet. Pulling back a few seconds in, he stared down at Sebastian’s blue eyes for a second. “Uhm.. hehe. Yeah.. I .. I gotta, you know… go.”

Turning around quickly, he walked forward, running a hand through his hair as he stared down at his feet, moving at a rather fast pace. Shit, did he really just do that? He really just did that. Oh god, he really just did that. No matter how much he was freaking at the moment, no matter how fast his heart was beating or how many times his stomach flipped over, he couldn’t help but smile as he hurried through the shortcut to make his way back to the buses as fast as possible. That had felt… amazing. it just felt really, really, really good. Sure, running was a shit move but… he wasn’t sure how Sebastian would’ve reacted to that. He knew he was openly gay, he knew that. But, he doubted that there was any chance he would like him like that. God, he’d probably just made a complete ass of himself and probably just fucked something up. He debated turning around and going back and apologizing profusely, but before the thought could fully form and he could consider doing it, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Stopping quickly, he felt the hand turn him around, his back making contact with one of the pillars that helped hold the stage together. Staring down at Sebastian, his brown eyes met Sebastian’s blue ones, who seemed to be staring over his face, much like Gavin’s were, he licked his lips quickly, his stomach doing a whole gymnastics routine in his stomach as fingers touched his jaw before finding their way down to his neck. “Uh. Listen, dude…” The words died in his throat, and Gavin actually had to clear his throat as Sebastian pushed his body against Gavin’s own rather sweaty body. Oh God, this really wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be. Ha. Yeah right. Opening his mouth again to try and finish his apology, he didn’t get close enough at all before he felt Sebastian’s lips against his own rather strongly. Staring down at him for a second, his eyes closed slowly as he kissed Sebastian back, with equal or… honestly, probably even more force than the first time. His hand moved up slowly, resting on Sebastian’s shoulders, pulling him probably even closer, which, honestly, he wasn’t sure was too possible. There really was no space between them right then and there. But you can’t blame a guy for trying.

Resting his fingers against the back of his neck, Gavin pulled back slowly, his brown eyes opening slowly to look at Sebastian’s face with a dazed look, his lips turned up into a soft, sort of shocked smile. “Well… that was… nice.” That was nice. Really, Gavin, really? Flinching slightly with how stupid he sounded, he pulled his hand back from Seb’s neck, only to bring it up to his own neck to rub the back of it almost awkwardly. “Yeah.. uuhm. Well… I uuhm… I think I should..” Staring down and meeting Sebastian’s blue eyes with his own brown orbs, he bit the corner of his lip for a second before leaning forward and pressing his lips against Sebastian’s rather quickly, forcefully, almost as though if he didn’t right then, he’d lose the chance. He possibly could, who knew? Maybe he was just.. being nice, or something. Sure, that made no sense since.. well. That certainly didn’t feel like it was just him being nice. Gavin sure didn’t kiss anyone like that when he was feeling nice.

LEIGH/SEB <3 - 1306 WORDS - I LIKE MOST OF IT :3

[SEBASTIAN MITCHELL COLLINS]

Were gonna keep singing all our own songs
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down

Why had he just done that? Seb's lips tingled still from the feel of Gavin's mouth on his own. The guy was straight... wasn't he? Well, certainly there was no great evidence that displayed the guy didn't have a soft spot for men... for him. Trust, Seb had been hoping beyond hope that he had, after all they'd both spent goodness knows how much time together recently. It was almost at the point when they were inseperable, not that Sebastian was complaining. On the contrary, those were the best parts of the day. Sure, conversation and talking was a very easy for the smaller australian boy, but it just seemed far more natural around Gavin. With Gavin, Seb seemed to smile far more, laugh far more and just genuinely take his mind off his ridiculously low self esteem and how much he already missed Melbourne. As cheesy as it sounded, which to Seb it didn't cos he loved cheese, but Gavin made him feel far more at home which in essence, was kind of ridiculous considering he hadn't know the guy for that long. Sure, he knew OF him, shit the dude was in a world famous band, but he hadn't known known him. One thing was for sure, Seb had a massive crush on the guy. Which led to the slight shock at the feel of the lips on his own from his... friend? Was it? He didn't usually kiss his male friends that way. Or at all. Seb knew it had felt fucking good though, which inspired him to run forward, following Gavin as the dude ran off, clearly in embarassment. It made sense... apparently the guy was hiding certain feelings about the same sex... or was it because it was Seb he'd kissed and not some stunning girl, or guy as the case may be.

Pushing Gavin across the metal column by his shoulder, his strength surprised even him really. Gavin was taller and broader then Seb, but nevertheless, he managed to get him at the stage. Seb let his eyes wander across Gavin's face, never really before having the chance to look at it up close. He'd honestly never felt this strongly for someone before. Sure, he'd had fun and he'd had feelings, but never ones so instinctive and primal. His blue, blue eyes cast over the mouth that had kissed just seconds before, the nose and most of all, the eyes. At that, Seb couldn't resist the fingers that touched along Gavin's jaw line. He wanted to see, but most of all, he wanted to touch. Seb had never felt like he'd been able to before... and sure, the kiss might have been a mistake but then this could even the field a little if that was what happened. Regardless, Seb let his fingers linger for a moment before they dropped to the neck, moving round to the back to get a proper grip. Gavin's smaller hairs tickled his hand but at this point he didn't care. He'd never been fortunate at being this close to feel them. Sebastian couldn't resist any longer. He pushed his body to squash Gavin in, admittedly the boy could easily have gotten out if he wanted. The australian wasn't exactly what one would call 'strong' but still, he hoped it had the right effect. Men previously had encouraged him to do it, hopefully Gavin was the same. Who knew? Seb watched as the boy opened his mouth again to speak, but instead decided to not let him, instead closing the final gap and pushing his own soft lips against Gavin's, hoping beyond anything he'd ever done before that this was right... that this was wanted.

Seb's shoulders became slightly less hunched at the feel of a return in pressure to his kiss, Gavin clearly kissing him back, and with some force too to the point where it almost caught him off guard yet again! He let the guy pull him even closer, in his mind, his whole freakin mind screaming at him that this was a new start. To Seb, that small movement meant something massive, that he wanted Seb closer... that he didn't physically repulse the taller man. It was protection of the highest kind. He felt the strong hand behind his neck and that was a feeling he could definitely get used to for sure, finally exhaling from his nose as they pulled back. It took Seb a moment to open his eyes, his mind whirling from what was happening. This couldn't be actually occuring. Finally, Seb opened his eyelids, his eyes hovering on Gavin's now slightly puffier smiling lips before looking up and seeing the brown orbs reflecting back. It was happening. Seb resisted the urge to lift an eyebrow when Gavin spoke first. 'Nice? Actually, Seb had considered that a bit better then nice. His blue eyes followed the hand as it was removed from his neck, the warmth it covered being overtaken the small wind that was blustering around. Second thoughts? Seb was stunned. He hadn't been this confused in a while, even as Gavin started speaking. The blonde was being very quiet which was very rare in itself, but who could blame him? Sebastian's gaze didn't falter, even when the brown orbs returned awkwardly to give him complete eye contact and Seb, unaware of himself even did it, almost seemed to ask 'what next?'. If this was a mistake, then he was to leave right now, their friendship probably ruined for good truthfully.

"Listen, dude..." Seb started, only to again find that someone elses lips stopped him from continuing. His eyes shut immediatedly, returning the kiss naturally. What was even happening? Seb wasn't sure, but he knew he was enjoying it nonetheless. Gavin's lips were strong and honestly it excited him. It meant he knew what he wanted, something missing greatly from the blonde australian's life so far. Seb let his head tilt naturally, his hand still against Gavin's neck, the fingers pulling at the back to bring him closer. Seb opened his mouth slightly to try and change position, though next second he had a tongue pushing against his own and he couldn't resist grinning into the kiss as he pushed back too. Well, this just turned into a much more interesting day for Sebastian. His fingers curled a little tighter around the hair as it moved into a full on make out, Seb's other warm hand pushing under Gavin's shirt only slightly to rest on the skin of his hip. He had to subtly rearrange his footing slightly to make sure he didn't fall backwards, his breathing becoming heavier at its intensity. This was ridiculous. Seb's eyes opened, continuing with the kiss at mostly its same level. Hands started to roam and it all became far too much. The loss of the hand was just a strong reminder in his head that this might just be, as stupid as it sounded, a typical booty call, a stupid bicurious moment. It meant something more to him, then it ever would to Gavin, surely? He stopped returning the kiss, both of his hands moving to the other mans chest and pushing himself back a little. His arm wrapped around his own stomach self conciously. "I don't know what you're doing... but I'm not an experiment." Seb bit his lip before darting off to the side, trying to head the way he came. Shit, he'd wished so badly that it had been real. His stomach was still doing butterflies from the intense kiss theyd just shared for a good length of time. It had been special of that there was no question... the problem was, he was convinced it was only special to him.

Tag: Rini/Gavin
Words: 1300
Outfit: Here
Notes: I actually like it? o: Love them, too.

[GAVIN CONOR DUBLIN]

I CAN'T FIND THE WORDS TO SAY THAT I NEED
YOU BY MY SIDE BUT I'M TERRIFIED TO TALK TO YOU, WON'T BE SATISFIED

There was really no doubt that everything that was going on in front of Gavin’s eyes was just a lot to take in. From going from walking back to the buses and goofing off to actually kissing Sebastian, Gavin really wasn’t sure what had happened in the past ten or so minutes. He’d surprised himself when he’d just stopped walking with Sebastian and turned the guy towards him just to kiss him He’d surprised himself by turning away and running off, aiming to make it to the buses before the dude could ask what Gavin had been thinking. He hadn’t exactly expected what happened next. The being pushed up against a damn pillar holding up the stage, the … well, the whole making out thing, everything. it was just… he didn’t’ expect it. He’d never been the kind of guy to be impulsive like that, take chances when it came to romance. In the past six years, in the years he’d accepted the fact that he didn’t find girls attractive like a good portion of the male population of the world, he’d never handled romance so lightly. There was something about Sebastian though; they’d met formally on tour, though he’d known about the guy for a while. Honestly, there really had never been someone that he had quickly connected with like Sebastian. It was honestly just kind of weird. They were different, yet similar in some aspects, similar enough to make a good connection. But even with all that, nothing should have happened, he thought. As he watched Sebastian looking up at his face, his eyes roaming over the blonde’s face as Sebastian’s eyes did the same time, their eyes meeting in the middle at some point in the silent gesture. As soft lips were pressed against his in a matter of seconds, the emotions that seemed to go through his mind were inhuman. Everything he was really feeling was inhuman, especially the thoughts that raced through his mind and the pace at which his heart was beating as he felt Sebastian’s small frame against his.


In six years, Gavin had never been in a situation like this. Sure, he’d kissed people. Ohh, that was true, of that there was no question. But really, in the past six years, his luck in the romance department was rather close to zero. The intimacy he was sharing with Sebastian was probably at a level he had never even entered before, ever since he’d accepted his sexuality back his sophomore year of high school. This intimacy was just… new territory, and no matter how much he was enjoying the feel of lips against his, the hand against the back of his neck, fingers close to the short hairs on the back of his neck. As they pulled apart, breaths rushed and chests heaving as Gavin’s chocolate brown eyes met Sebastian’s, he just wasn’t’ sure what to say, or do. Chewing his bottom lip as the silence slightly grew between them, he looked down at his worn out Chucks, at the little pebbles of dirt that were around his feet, and took in his surroundings, at least until he heard Sebastian talking again. Watching him as though he were an interesting television program, his hand’s idly toyed with whatever was in his pocket. However, before Sebastian could get out anything more other than the two words that he managed, Gavin kind of gave into whatever it was that was eating at him and leaned forward, kissing Sebastian, probably with a little more force than he would have originally expected. His hand pulling away from his pocket to cradle his thin face, he, almost unconsciously, deepened the kiss, and at a moment not too soon. He felt Sebastian’s mouth opening to his, and the next few moments were really something that Gavin just couldn’t begin to describe to anyone. Sure, more than likely all his friends had felt this feeling with whatever girls they kissed, but this might have been a little different than those other ones his friends had shared with whoever.

Wondering hands and all, the slight shiver than ran down Gavin’s back could hardly be contained as he felt a hand underneath his shirt near his hipbone. Fuck, really, this was going at a level he hadn’t anticipated at all. Moments earlier, where his heart had been racing, and millions of thoughts ran to his head to know how to defend himself for what he did (as moments earlier he had been sure Seb would’ve commented on the kiss in a negative manner), his heart was still racing, however, with more positive feelings. His hands were probably even slightly shaking with the emotions that he felt. They were just … off; the boy had never felt these before, and he was hoping what was going on was definitely a good thing. However, these thoughts stopped almost instantly as Seb pulled back, his hands against his chest pushing Gavin back slightly. Taking a breath to steady himself, he watched Sebastian for a minute, the words slowly making their way through his ears to finally be comprehended. An experiment..? He thought curiously, slightly hurt, as he watched the blond turn and walk off the way they had originally come. His mouth dropping down in shock slightly, he raised an eyebrow as he gathered his breath, his composure, and his thoughts. Almost instinctively, he pushed himself off of the pillar he’d made himself familiar on in those few minutes, and ran after Seb, catching up with him almost instantly. Long legs certainly did help. Grasping the other’s shoulder, he fell in step with Seb for a second before stopping, Gavin’s hand dropping from Sebastian’s shoulder to his elbow. “I don’t…. I don’t get it. An experiment?”

But as he said the words, he slowly realized the meaning of those words. Recognition showing on his face, he shook his head quickly, trying to find the words he needed to say before Seb ran off again. “No, no no no. You’re not… you’re not an experiment, okay? This wasn’t one of those … you know, things.” He didn’t even know what to call it, to be honest. The thought of it being anything other than an actual connection, an actual kiss between them, kind of stung. Dropping his hand from Sebastian’s elbow, he ran it through his hair, which was still matted slightly with sweat. It was only now he was taking in his physical condition, which was probably a little warmer than it had been when they’d left the stage area earlier on. “I… I liked.. I liked what happened, Seb. I like…. I like you.” Mumbling the last three words quietly as he kept eye contact with him, Gavin took a deep breath as realization of what he really said hit him. It was true, completely and honestly true. There was no way that any of the feelings that had happened earlier were anything short of false, or of a curious moment. He really did like the guy; sure, they weren’t exactly the same, they weren’t completely different, but there was just something in the blond’s outgoing personality that just kind of connected with Gavin’s mostly obnoxious, childlike persona.

LEIGH/SEB <3 - 1204 WORDS - THIS I DON'T LIKE MUCH. :]